Hope for the Weary

Life has changed rather drastically for Maegan and I over the past few months. If you followed her progress through any of the up's and down's of the hospital stays and doctor visits, than you know that life turned into one big roller-coaster with no end in sight.

During the ordeal, I began to post updates and thoughts here to not only keep everyone somewhat informed as to what was going on, but to also escape from reality for a few minutes and attempt to process what all was going on around me.

Reading back over the events of the summer, I realized that I sugarcoated every post.

Maybe I was in denial or just didn't want to write down what we had just experienced in too much detail. Whatever the reason, Maegan and I were left dealing with the emotional aftermath of a series of traumatic events. Even when talking to close friends and family we skim over the tough parts simply because we don't want to have to feel those feeling again.

Fact: repressed emotions don't just go away. We feel as if it is time to write out the story as it truly happened. Just the true, stripped-down, bare-bones, as-real-as-it-happened, feelings and experiences that Maegan and I endured in order to leave no stone unturned.

More importantly, we are writing this to show how God brought us through impossible situations so that we could deeply share how he continues to draw us to Him. Every event, every doctor, every hospital visit, led us to exactly were God wanted us (even though it didn't seem like it at the time).

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I'm reminded of a story of a person who decides to take a midnight hike and follow a friend up to the peak of a mountain. They know this friend has hiked many times and knows exactly where every turn in the trail lies and follows them over miles of rough terrain, through thick forests, around black lakes of frozen water, and around treacherous bends. She continues to follow and refuses to take her eyes off of his back until they reach the summit. As they arrived, they were greeted with one of the most beautiful sunrises she had ever seen. The cold, fresh breeze restored her tired lungs and the colors of the sunrise melted away every cold feeling in her heart. Life stood still. After catching her breath she looked down and saw the trail that they had just spent several hours hiking up. There were spots were they were merely inches from the cliff where one stumble or loose rock would have meant certain death.

She states, "If I would have known how dangerous the climb would have been, I would have never decided to follow you on this hike!"

He replies, "I know. But you would also never see what was waiting at the end of the journey..."
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God took us into a series of events and situations that left us no choice but to cling, blindly to his arms and let him lead us. If I would have know exactly what was going to happen with Maegan I would have still married her; I would have still loved her dearly. However, I would have known what to tell the doctors about and stop this thing before it happened. The end result? God wouldn't have received the glory...I would have. The worth that holds versus the eternal worth Christ holds for us is hardly a drop in the ocean when compared.

We are choosing to write our story not to point at what we did to try to make it through, but to show exactly how God never left us, never forsook us and never left our side.

No matter how little strength we had on our own, he always brings Hope for the Weary.

Update (9/17)

We just got back from UT Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas a couple of days ago and had a good visit with some very knowledgeable specialists. The purpose of the visit was to check out the neuro side of things a little more extensively.

We do know that although the symptoms are still going on, they are much better than before. Maegan is able to get up and around (until her legs swells/turns awesome colors from the clots) and is even going to class this semester! There were times just a couple of months ago when I thought she wasn't going to make it...and yet here she is with more strength and energy than she has had in the past year!! How awesome is our God?

This 3rd EMG was by far the most extensive and thorough to date and was performed by 2 of the neuromuscular specialists. They affirmed that her muscles appeared free of a myopathy (like neuromyotonia) and everything was looking normal. We are still waiting to hear back on some lab work and then we'll be able to ask the doctor more about which direction to head next.

The biggest win of this trip was a referral to see a hematologist at Southwestern next week. We have been concerned lately about the clotting issue in general and have tons of questions that we just can't find answers to around here.

It looks like things are moving in a new direction for us. The stresses that we both encountered over the past few months felt like they added years to my life, but they have been lifted from my shoulders. If you haven't seen Maegan since she was in the hospital, you probably wouldn't recognize her today! She is doing so much better! We know more now than we have so far, but still have many things left to discover. Please keep praying that we can trust in God for out every need and wait for the answers to come in His time.


Thanks for the prayers, hugs, tears, messages, encouragement, thoughts, love and support!
-Philip and Maegan

Thanks for checking up on Maegan! She is still doing well (all things considered) and is definitely getting her spark back! I am working on an in-depth blog about whats been happening. So stay tuned....

New post coming soon!

Update (8/3)

Ever since we got home from the hospital, Maegan has been doing much better. Even though she was up and walking as much as possible (we even made a trip to Lufkin!), she started noticing substantial pain, swelling and discoloration in her left foot every time she stood up or even put it on the ground. She knew from the first time it happened that the culprit was blood clots.

Last Thursday afternoon we saw Maegan's cardiovascular specialist to see just how extensive the clotting was. He performed a quick ultrasound of her left leg in his office and instantly saw a 6 inch clot behind the knee. He was going to schedule her for surgery that next day to remove the clot but was unable to get the right equipment ordered in time. He rescheduled Maegan for this morning (8/3).

We arrive around 8am to get all of the paperwork squared away and were immediately sent back to the surgery wing. All of the preparations were taken care of and we waited for the anesthesiologist until around 12:30pm. As they wheeled her away the nurse told me that the procedure should not take much longer than 1-2 hours.

Five and a half hours later Maegan is finally brought in to the ICU for pain management. Dr. D grabbed me and took me over to his computer to show me the x-ray images from the surgery. She had extensive clotting in one of the main veins right around the knee that required special attention. Basically the clot had formed a wall stopping blood flow almost totally. Her body had reacted by forming extra veins around the blockage allowing her leg to still function (and not swell into a tomato).

It took several hours to break up the hardened clots and get the catheter into all of the correct veins but the surgery was successful. Knowing what we do now, it looks like the clots have been there for a while now and have been one of the main reasons for the hospital stays so far. We don't know this for sure but the pain she is having in her leg is just like the pain she had at the beginning of the summer. Time will tell if this theory is correct.

The next step is to get Maegan to a specialist for both the clotting and also not forget about the muscles.

Please continue to pray for her healing!

Update 7/9

The gallbladder surgery was a total success and confirmed that is was indeed the cause of much of her suffering. Dr. Gene Cagle (the surgeon who performed the laparoscopic cholycystectomy) couldn't believe that it was in as bad of shape as it really was for someone her age with no children or medical problems.

Today has been relatively uneventful. Maegan is still in quite a bit of pain both from the surgery as well as the blood clots in her leg. It is very difficult for her to move around as we have found out from the nurses coming in and trying! She is back on a liquid diet but is having to force herself to drink even a little bit of water.

The biggest obstacle she is facing is the pain. This is keeping her from getting out of bed and the discomfort is keeping her from eating. She knows that she needs food and movement in order to get better, but she is facing a lot of resistance from her own body.

Pray that she find the strength to overcome the pain as well as a hunger for sustenance to give her nutrients. We are getting so close!

Thank you all!
Philip & Maegan

Update 7/8

The clotting is still present in her lower left leg but Dr. D said that with the blood-thinners, her body would be able to dissolve them easily. They will remove the vein catheter tomorrow morning.

Dr. C just came by and said that she will be going in for the gallbladder surgery within the hour. Pray that there be no complications and that God give her relief from the pain and the anxiety that this all has brought on.

She is also still having a lot of pain in her leg and is feeling totally overwhelmed with the situation. She may also be developing pneumonia again from being stuck laying down for so long.

Please pray that she get relief from everything that she is going through!!

We thank you so much for your continued love and support!
Philip & Maegan

Update 7/7

I obviously have not been blogging as often since the last hospital stay. I will try to write as often as I can but sometimes do not have the time to write a full post. I do however use twitter almost daily for quick updates about Maegan's progress. You can see my most recent tweets right here on the blog or you can follow me at http://twitter.com/pmelton.

Maegan was placed back in the hospital last Wednesday night to treat blood clots in her legs that had formed while she was on bed rest. Around that time, she was also suffering from severe abdominal pain and nausea. Dr. C came by a couple of days ago and evaluated that Maegan's gallbladder was damaged and needed to come out and the operation was set to happen Monday (7/6) afternoon. Since she has developed extensive clotting in her legs, he consulted with Dr. D (also from Grace) and they decided to put a filter into the inferior vena cava (IVC) to stop any clot that might have broken loose from entering the lungs. During this simple procedure (which went with no problems), he noticed that the blood was moving in the right leg but stopped totally whenever it got to the left. An x-ray image confirmed that the blood had clotted from right above the knee all the way up into her stomach causing severe pain, swelling and discomfort. The doctor explained that although she wasn't at risk for losing her leg if they did not move quickly she might not ever lose the pain and swelling.

In order to correct this extensive clot, the doctor had to insert a catheter into the vein in her left leg and inject clot-reducing medicine (same as used for heart attacks) directly into the clot. It wound up taking over 2 hours but everything went well. She had to spend last night in ICU in order to make sure no complication arose from the surgery. This morning they took her back into the lab to have her leg scanned again. Sure enough, the blood was flowing perfectly in her upper leg! They lowered the location of the catheter and are continuing to pump medicine into the lower calf now.

She will remain in ICU until they check the lower leg around 5:00 this afternoon. Dr. Cagle is still planning on removing the gallbladder tomorrow as long as her body can handle it. These next few days will be long and painful but the results will feel like she has a new body. After she feels better we will continue to look into the neuromusclular issues.

Thank you so much for your prayers!
Philip & Maegan